Hypothyroidism :: Weight Gain Is Making Me So Depressed
I've been diagnosed with hypothyroidism for almost two years and the only change I've seen in my weight is it keeps going up. I've just lost all faith in myself after trying for so long and hard to lose the weight. I hate how I look and I constantly think about it. I'm so so down all the time and I just can't see a way back. I was heavy years ago and lost a lot of weight (over 3 stone) and I felt and looked fantastic. I enjoyed it for a few years before the hypothyroidism. I know people say looks are shallow and unimportant but its important to me.
I just feel so let down by my own body and so bitter towards people who don't have thyroid issues. I don't know how to make myself feel better.
Depression :: Depressed, Got Better, Depressed Again
HOW IT STARTED:
Yes, I was one of those annoying people who all the teachers liked.
Once, one of my professors even told me I was one of the "golden children" of my year. I suppose I worked so hard to get good grades because all my life I had been encouraged and enabled to do my best. I was used to success. In college I even overcame my shyness and gained a lot of good friends and a handful of real, true friends who I deeply care for. I had a part-time job in my fiend that I worked between classes, and I was looking forward to continuing my upward climb to success.
So when I lost my out-of-college job because the company had a financial catastrophe that made it impossible for them to hire me, I figured, "Hey, I'll just get another job and move on with my life. No big."
But almost a year later I still didn't have a job, and because I'm inherently introverted I had lost touch with most of my friends because they were all too far away to see in person and I'm terrible at keeping up with social media. I was living at home with my parents, sleeping in the spare bed in my sisters' room, and slowly realizing that all the people who were "Looking forward to seeing me succeed in the future" were going to be direly disappointed in me.
FIRST WAVE:
New Year 2013 brought on odd feelings. I still had hope that things would improve, but they consistently didn't. I lost a few big freelance clients that I was counting on because I made a few dumb mistakes, and that made things worse. I started crying in the bathroom for "no reason," not understanding why I was feeling so down and out when I still had potential, I just wasn't living up to it yet.
Fast forward a few months and I had basically given up on myself. I believed I was a loser, someone who had let down the many people who had trusted me with their wisdom and advice. I wasn't one of the "golden children," I was a pathetic fake who couldn't even call someone on the phone without feeling incredibly anxious, much less actually interview for a job. All the confidence I'd gained in college was gone and I felt even less sure of myself than I did in high school.
It was like the "real me" got locked in a room somewhere and I couldn't find her.
My mom noticed I was moody and finally confronted me about it, but instead of helping it only made me feel like she was even more disappointed in me and fed my unconfidence even more. Then, one day, after my mom got angry at me once again for being unable to communicate my real thoughts because I was so confused myself, my dad came out and let me sit there and cry until I had composed myself enough to speak. He was calm enough to keep me relatively calm and we discovered that the depression was probably coming from a few different sources. I was feeling lonely without my friends. I was back in my childhood home and reverting to the unconfident person I used to be. I was disappointed in myself and projecting imagined feelings of disappointment from others onto myself. I never got out of the house so I felt isolated. I wasn't making a steady income and that was stressing me out. Etc.
I decided to stop freelancing full time and get a job so I could at least get out of the house, make a steady income, and be around people. But after several interviews that were just awful because I either didn't have enough qualifications for that particular job or because I was having an off day and feeling really socially awkward, I didn't get any of the jobs.
SECOND WAVE:
I revamped my hope. But then it got crushed.
I'm still not as bad as I was last year, but I'm starting to feel like randomly crying again and sometimes my skin feels like it's going to wriggle off with how much I just want to get out of my house. I'm so afraid that I'm going to delve back into self-loathing-ville again, and I know that I sabotage myself when I'm like that. I so do not want to lost this tiny bit of momentum I've achieved, but I can't make things move faster. I can't get a job any faster, I can't get a car until I have money from a job, I can't get a job sometimes because I don't already have a car, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm going crazy.
SO...
I know a lot of people around my age are going through things like this but for my particular situation does anyone know how to help me push through until things improve? I'm getting so tired of feeling so bad and I'm losing my energy trying to keep going. My parents are enabling me to stay home and do nothing but I don't want to stay home and do nothing! I want to get a job and be independent and have autonomy and start becoming who I used to be again so I can be a confident, awesome person! AAH!
Also, right now I'm not feeling so bad so I have a sense of humor, but in an hour or so I might be curled up in the bathroom crying into a towel so no one will hear me. I got on this forum in the first place because my skin was feeling antsy and I wanted to get away so badly and I wanted to know if other people felt the same way. Crazy mood swings, anyone?
Depressed And Don't Know Why
So I really didn't know where or how else to express this but this seems like a good place. To be honest, I have a great life. I absolutely love my job, have amazing friends and my home life is wonderful. I'm not to happy about being a little overweight but guess what? I'm hitting the gym and have already lost 5 lbs. In the money department I'm doing okay, could always be better but I'm paying my bills and saving where I can.
Yesterday I woke up exhilarated and ready to take on the world. I had a great day at work and a good work out. This morning I woke up completely depressed and bummed out. I have no idea why this happening. I honestly have no reason to be upset or depressed yet I just wanted to crawl into a hole or be invisible all day long and just had this feeling of depressed all day long, even as I'm writing this.
This seems to happen to me a lot! Sometimes it's like the example above and sometimes it can be multiple times a day. I'll go for a couple hours feeling blessed and happy and then out of nowhere it goes away and I'm depressed and feel like I want to disappear. This can go back and forth several times in a day sometimes.
I'm not sure if I'm just nuts or if this is normal. Anyways, I figured I'd put up a post and see what you all have to say. If you're the same way, if you've gotten any good advice. Thanks for taking the time to read though.
Depressed After Break Up
This friend I had she stayed with me and my boyfriend for a week and a half because she broke up with her boyfriend. She really hurt me badly. She told me and my boyfriend that she needed a break from her boyfriend and then she starts calling him and going back to his place to spend quality time with him. She does not keep to her word she said she was going to go out for Easter with me and my boyfriend and her young son then she changes it and says that she is going to spend Easter with her boyfriend and son. This girl does not know what she wants. She leaves him every time they fight and then she gets back together with him.
My boyfriend and i heard her say that she was back with her boyfriend so yesterday we asked her to leave
She told me all i do is tell stories which i do not and she called me a bitch.
We opened our place to this girl and her son and it hurts me so much i could not even sleep at all last night. I was crying, I was angry and hurt and this is the second time she hurt me because last year she harassed me over the phone and said verbally abusive stuff to me last year in texts messages to me to where i had to take her to court
After all that i have done and been good to her she treats me and my boyfriend like dirt and it hurts
It hurts so much The her boyfriend goes to the same mental health facility me and my boyfriend goes too and I don't want to go back there at all while he is there because he has caused me pain too and my boyfriend does not like that
I have been crying all night and just so angry i don't understand why she does this to me and my boyfriend
Am I Depressed? Suicidal Thoughts Every Day
I have suicidal thoughts every day, real vivid ones, I know where, when, how etc. sometimes I cry and I'm not sure why and when i start it can be hours till I've stopped completely, I don't mean all out bawling btw, just teary really, but that's the bad days most the time I feel fairly content, I can laugh and joke and go out with friends. I think I've lost my purpose in life I feel like I don't know why I'm here or what I'm meant to do but I don't feel what I imagine depression to feel like.
Throughout this though the good and bad I think of suicide every day like I said but every thought ends with me being found in time, ends with me being saved.
Do you think I need help and if so where do you go and what do you say? I'm not good at expressing myself or talking to people, none of friends or family know I feel this way. Is this normal ?
Do I just need to man up and get on with life?
Am I Depressed? Cry All The Time - Have No Patience
I really dont know whats wrong with me. I'm 24, have a good job and work 33 hours a week. I have a 4 yr old daughter who is at school and a partner.
I feel really down and upset most of the time. I can't shake it off. I'm miserable. Cry all the time. Have no patience. Want to be on my own. Don't want to be with my partner and been having an affair for 12 months. The littlest thing really annoy me.
all my family live close by but i rarely see them. I have a mother that chooses her wife beater of a bf over her children/grandchildren. I have a dad that i used to be really close with to now a dad that doesn't speak to me doesn't care. I need my parents support but i don't have it. I see my friends have such supportiveparentss and i just wish i had that. I know im 24 but i still need them.
I got pregnant at 19 and was not ready. My partner pretty much said he would finish it if i didn't have the baby. I had no support during or after the pregnancy. I used to cry every day of my pregnancy and every day whilst on maternity.
i gained 4 stone during that time but lost it after 1 yr on slimming world. The past 9 months i've been feeling lost and all along and slowly piled two stone bk on.
I wanna go to the docs and get help of to someone for help i can cope anymore. I thought i cud but i can't. I don't have any time for me. On my own.
My day consists of waking up getting ready and my child. Breakfast dropping to school. Start work finish work. Pick child up. Go home tidy up. Feed dog cook tea. Bath and bed for child. Cook our tea. Have a shower go to bed.
Am I Depressed? Don't Get Enjoyment Out Of The Activities
Basically I feel like I may have had depression for a long time and not realised it. My parents divorced when I was at school and I was definitely depressed after that as I was diagnosed by a doctor, but I thought it had gone away. However recently I have been reflecting upon myself and have come to the realisation that I don't get enjoyment out of the activities that I do and the people I interact with. I have a full social life and am sure to make my schedule busy however I feel that this may be me trying to give myself something to feel happy and excited about in order to try to get myself to feel some positive emotion. I find myself not really caring much about a lot of things. For example I have always been very passionate about the environment and wanting to get a job as a conservationist however since starting university I don't really seem to care that much about it any more or about studying hard go get the grades to achieve my goal. I am tired of feeling anxious about every situation and like people are judging me all the time; I know these feelings are ridiculous but I just cannot shake them and they are interfering a lot with my ability to function as a normal person and to be myself. I am so worried about what other people think that I tend to make a mess of things which just exacerbates the problem. Also I feel quite empty inside and like I don't really know what I am about any more, which holds me back from making any meaningful connections with people as I am unsure as to how to portray myself as I don't feel like I really know who I am any more. Basically I feel like I have the potential to be much better as a person but there is something that is holding me back and I cant seem to work out what that is. I used to be an extremely expressive and eloquent person who could speak their mind but somewhere along the line I lost that and now I seem to hold myself back and am full of constant worry. I am at the point where I just need something to change as I cant stand to continue to feel like this. Also I oversleep all the time and struggle to get to sleep at any time before midnight, and I am also constantly achy and tense. I feel like I am different from my peers just in my daily life and I feel like I stand out when I used to feel like I fit in and was just like the people around me. Any advice and help would be really appreciated.
View 2 RepliesDepressed Because Of Hidradenitis Suppurativa
I'm 22 years old. But i feel like I'm older. Last year they diagnosed me with hs. I had out way before that but never got it treated because i was embarrassed. I have it everywhere. I have open wounds in both armpits. I have some in the back of neck, groin and under breast. They are extremely painful. I don't even go out anymore because i tend to start smell bad due to my armpit lesions. I've also have a lymph node on the side of my neck that is worries me. Idk if it due to the open wounds that i have in my neck. I'm so embarrassed to go to the doctor again. But i see no way out. My primary doctor is useless he doesn't know about this and just send me to the ER. I'm so depressed i don't know what i can do. This wounds won't heals.
View 2 RepliesDepression :: Very Depressed And I Hate Myself
I'm a 60 year old woman and I really cant cope with the fact that I'm old and gaining weight. I just cant stop eating chocolate and other snacks it's really hopeless...I so wish I was dead, this time a year ago I weight 10 kg less and the last year I have seen my body change so much.I wish I could lose weight.
View 4 RepliesDepression :: Depressed - Hate Being Alone
I'm a 20 year old guy...I'm at a point in my life where ive realised that i had to get rid of my old friends in order to be happy.My old friends were all losers,they were all pessimistic,never got girls,always complained,never wanted to go to parties etc. I live in greece and during summer its really beuatiful here,lots of people,lots of parties and fun..All those summers i spent with my old friends and them compaining that in order to get laid or be accepted in a group you have to be "in" or have a car,a hot body,money etc.We never did anything..Just moaning and complaining...Whenever i was with them i always dreamed of being somewhere else..With other people,doing trips around the beautiful beaches,go to parties etc. I decided i have to get rid of them because i want to make a new start in my life.. The thing is im completely alone at the moment..And its making me really depressed..Depressed because now im alone with my thoughts....Where should i meet new people?? I want to meet optimistic,outgoing people...I don't want to look back
View 1 RepliesPregnancy :: So Depressed - Unplanned Baby
I'm 29 weeks today and my mood is so low. I just want to cry. This is my first baby and it wasn't planned. I even had the morning after pill. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband but I can't help feeling so anxious and depressed. I should be over the moon. We did want children just not yet.
Pregnancy isn't the wonderful experience I'd always imagined. I'm finding it difficult and debilitating. But I do want this baby. I'm just scared.
I don't know how to improve my mood or way of thinking. I really am in a bad place and I feel selfish for feeling low. I'm pathetic
I'm 21, And Depressed - Made Mistakes And I Regret It
The fireworks went off, its new year. I've never felt so alone and depressed. I'd been thinking about my life, and I can't stand it anymore.
Is it true that there can never be a second chance in life? I made mistakes and I regret it; I want to start anew, but life just doesn't seem to work that way. When a part of your life crumbles, the rest will follow. I am a college dropout since August, and my family just gives me hell. They mock me in every chance given to them, stating how useless and helpless I am wasting my life, and everything that I do is bad, useless and stupid according to them. My friends look down on me, and many of them take joy in my condition now.
I don't know who to turn to, or who to trust anymore. Everyone just seems to be against everything I do. I don't know how to pick myself up again, since everything I do is judged. I am very very sad inside, but I can't even cry. No one will pity me.
Depressed - Beta Prograne - Too Tired
I'm taking half beta prograne 80 mg for 3 weeks on a routine of 7.30am with a pill I take, BUT through the day I'm extremely tired,feeling very low ( I have 3 children ) and I have completely nooooo energy (sometimes by tea time) to do anything so by 7pm I'm ready for bed. I'm just so tired. Is this normal? Please help I don't want to go back to my gp only to b told just keep plodding on ?. Will it upset my body if I Change the times off when I take the drug say for instance take at night instead?
View 4 RepliesFluoxetine :: Depressed With Suicidal Thoughts
I'm 19 and was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks about 3 weeks ago and i got prescribed klonopin. anyways a week after i was diagnosed with depression i started feeling very down and not myself like i didn't even want to get up from bed or take showers or go out i just layed there and cried most of the time and had suicidal thoughts. so i finally decided to see a doctor and was diagnosed with depression and given fluoxetine 20mg i been on it for about 4 days, but this medicine is making me feel really out of it and for the past two days i have woken up feeling very agitated and fidgety and sometimes i don't even feel like myself i've heard this is called depersonalization and it feels awful i also feel like i've gotten more angrier with the medication, things annoy me more easily. sometimes i just sit there and i just wanna scream. overall i think my anxiety has gone away its just the depression now and it sucks i just wanna feel like myself again and i'm scared i never will.
View 2 RepliesWeight Loss - Intentional :: Depressed
I am on the waiting list for Gastric Band Surgery on the NHS. My Doctor said this could take a Year to go through but I don't know if I can wait this long as I am so depressed about my weight and cannot stand the thought of another Summer at the size I am. Have gone from one diet to the next for the last 15 years, I have tried so hard.
I am thinking of looking into a Privately fitted one and wondered if anyone knows of any good Hospitals in the Reading area or not too far away from Reading and how much I am looking at needing a loan for?
Genital Herpes Simplex :: Depressed
I'm a 20 year old female who was diagnosed with genital herpes simplex 2. I have been diagnosed for 2 weeks now and i've been depressed because i don't know what to do. I don't have any out breaks no more thank God but i do know that my ex boyfriend has genital herpes before i caught it. He caught genital herpes 2 years ago and me and him been having sex with a condom but he never exposed me. I left him alone and start having sex with another guy, without a condom but i know for sure he did not expose me to genital herpes. Me and my ex had sex 2 weeks ago and i had 3 bumps on my vagina that was itchy i thought they were hair bumps, turn out to be herpes. I cant believe i have herpes, i know my ex still loves me and we both love sex a lot but sometimes i hate myself and wish this never happened. I don't go out as usual and i don't show a lot of excitement no more like i use too. I need help! Im depressed, i know i cant tell someone that I have herpes because they will not accept me for who i am and they will know for a fact that im a walking disease im hurting inside.
View 2 RepliesDepression :: Depressed - Withdrawals Of Effexor
been depressed for 7 months. going through withdrawals of effexor. been tried on different antidepressants. now on prozac for 1 week.
View 1 RepliesDepression :: Depressed - Withdrawals Of Venlafaxine
been on venlafaxine for 17 years. dr.took me off in three days. i think i was taken down to fast. been off since oct. still feel real depressed is my main concern. i am taking prozac for the last three weeks. anyone have any suggestions for me
View 2 RepliesDepression :: I Hate Everything About Me, Depressed And Hopeless
I am writing to you as I feel I need to talk to somebody. I am 24 and finished a double degree in business last year. I started my degree in my hometown and did an exchange through my university which meant the last two years of my degree were to be finished in France. I moved there at 21 to study. Finished my studies last year and decided to stay for an undetermined period of time. So I lived in Paris for a year and could not find a career job. I eventually found a bar job and I worked 4 nights a week from about 7pm til 5am every night. I would work nights and sleep until past noon. I would have about 4 hours to myself at home to run errands or go out on walks, see friends, visit places in the day, and then I would go to work again in the evenings. I formed strong bonds with my colleagues, and had many new friends. We would always spend time together outside of work. We became one big group and were all fairly close. But after a few months, it all became a routine. I would not get out of bed until I would have to go to work again. I would apply for career jobs here and there but I was quite comfortable where I was. Around me, I would see my ex-uni colleagues get great jobs, enrol in masters' degrees and travel the world for amazing job opportunities. I'm not really a jealous person, but every time I would see someone succeed, I would feel less and less worthy. This year I realised I was and still am depressed. I think I've been feeling this way for about a year. I feel worthless, incapable of working in a job the old me would've liked. I have no motivation for anything whatsoever. All I want to do is stay in bed and watch TV all day and repeat the next day. I feel like if I engage in something, I will fail. I loathe myself, inside and out. Sometimes I think I should just disappear. I feel sad all the time, I'm tired all day, every day. I hate the way I talk, act, look and behave. I don't think there is one thing that I like about myself physically and emotionally. I have good friends, but they don't know about any of my thoughts. I always sit and imagine a different life for me. But I don't see past tomorrow. I don't really care about anything, or anyone. I don't go out too much, when I do, I feel like I'm doing it so I don't upset my friends. I am the quiet person of the group. I feel awkward around people I don't know very well, and I tend to avoid parties or social gatherings where I don't have to be at, out of obligation. In august this year I quit my job in Paris and moved back to my hometown. I was getting sick of living like this there. I now live at home with my parents. Ever since I came back in september, I've been looking for jobs. I've had very few call-backs, but I just let the call go to voicemail, because I'm scared to talk to that potential employer. I'm scared I will make a fool of myself. I'm scared I'm not good enough, not motivated enough, not capable. I don't see how I could be an asset to a company. I don't think I'd be any good. My parents constantly compare me to my older brother who is doing great at work! I hate this. But then again, I have no interest in doing anything for myself. I just want to go and hide somewhere forever. Being back here is ok, it wasn't my first choice, it was my last resort. I still wish I would live in Europe somewhere. I feel trapped, guilty and ugly. I feel like I have nothing good to offer, like I don't add any value to anything. I don't know what to do anymore, I thought feeling so apathetic and numb was normal. Just a part of finding yourself. But I'm so lost that I don't see how I could ever find myself, because there is nothing to find. I'm so frustrated and angry all the time. At everything, nothing pleases me, nothing phases me. I'm really bored. I feel like I'm just wasting everybody's time. I personally, don't have time to waste, because I don't really care about my time. I'm just so sick of life. I feel like I bring nothing good, and I feel guilty because my parents care about me, but I don't care about anything. I've been applying to a lot of jobs, but never call anyone back as I think they could tell that I'm useless. I hope you can give me some pointers of what I'm doing wrong. I'm just sick of being in this rut. Maybe this is just me, and nothing really excites me as much as a normal person. But I'm so bored in life. I don everything on auto-pilot, and when I'm anywhere, all I can think about is how to get home quicker and be on my own. There's really nothing I look forward to, other than being in bed, when I'm not in bed. I know there is so much to do out there, but I find none of it exciting, I would rather be inside than go exploring nature, or go to the beach.
View 8 Replies