Cannabis Addiction :: My Journey To Stop Smoking Marijuana

I am 18 years old and have 1 semester left of high school. i started smoking marijuana when i was 15. i lived in a small town but made friends with a person that could get me whatever amount i could pay for as fast as he got the text asking. i now live in the next town over which is a very small city and have several people in my contacts that know to ask on a weekly basis how much i need without me texting them first. my parents are divorced and i live with my mom. my mom works out of state, so she gets up at 4 am and is home around 730-8 pm. so she is never around to know what is happening at home. she works with lawyers and makes excellent money so getting money for my addiction has never been a problem. iv been smoking close to non-stop since the time i've started,but have also been smoking cigarettes for the same amount of time.

i have tried several times in the past to stop (i say stop because out of the other times i have tried i have used the term "quit" which is a more permanent term and puts more anxiety on me when i think about weed on my attempts to stop). my most successful time was this past summer when i was working with my cousin that owns his own construction business. since my entire family shuns people like me who smoke anything or are not straight edge i did not do it before i went to work for him so he wouldn't know. and it was also easier to cut back because i was working for him almost every day, which put me around people that did not smoke and did not even talk about it. right now most of the people in my town and around me smoke (except for my mother which does not know about this addiction because i have tried to bring it up in the past but the way she handles it puts me in a position were im to stressed out and resort back to it) i can walk down my street and ask a random person if they know were i can get weed and can most likely get weed (i have done this several times and it has worked) so its been hard trying to find someone that can help me through the withdrawls without tempting me back into it.

im on my 3rd day without weed. i went cold turkey after the new year. the withdrawal symtoms that i can see right now is that my sleep is not what it used to be. i just can't fall asleep as peacefully as before when i smoked and i cant stay asleep either. my appetite is lower, though i eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner so that's not a concern. i also don't want to go out in public that much anymore or do things. and when i get into a stressful situation i don't know how to overcome that stress because i used to always resort to weed to help. i've tried reading and doing stress workouts but they don't seem to help calm that voice that says "hey everything will be better once you get weed" and the two biggest and hardest symptoms is that when i don't have something to do, or start thinking about the time that i have free now, i feel depressed and bored and worried. because smoking used to take up that time and i felt happy and relaxed even when i was just sitting there high. the second thing is that i know im addicted. but at times when people tell me that you cant get addicted to weed and i start to think of how fine i feel without it i feel as though they are right and that i can smoke this one time with that person without starting to do it constantly again. but that is how i kept getting back into it in the past.

i need to stop because i really want to join the army which would keep me out of smoking weed but the big step is to stop it now so i can join. i have started to talk to a recruiter and can be sent out for boot camp in 9 months. but if i don't find a way to overcome the willingness to smoke i won't be able to go. i would appreciate so much if people could share with me how they overcame the urges, especially around other smokers and on weekends when that was my get out and smoke with a lot of other smokers time. and other things that helped people out.