Cannabis Addiction :: Depersonalisation And Anxiety After Smoking Marijuana

I am 19 years old and have been smoking marijuana for a year.  I have now taken a break from smoking weed for the past 2 weeks and  a month ago I had a severe panic attack. I am still somewhat feeling the effects of depersonalisation but they were much more severe a few weeks ago and I have a doctors appointment on the 25th of April. I have never felt panic in my life but on Wednesday over a month ago. I have always felt great when I smoked weed but for some reason this time I felt awful. I had woke up on a March break morning around 11 am and I smoked this good weed that I had never tried before. I always smoke out of bongs and I had smoked right when I woke up so I probably was dehydrated and my blood sugar was low. I know weed lowers blood sugar and it was on an empty stomach. It took about ten minutes and eventually I had tunnel vision, I couldn't look at my tv because the screen was too bright, felt like a mini seizure, heart was racing, sweating, felt like I was choking and I was going to have a heart attack. I realize that you cannot die from a panic attack but it was very uncomfortable. The weird thing is that I have never felt panic at all after smoking weed. I smoked half a bowl of this good weed I had never tried and shortly after I smoked this good regular weed that I am used to. I went to ER and took some tests but I eventually left as I did not want to wait there all day. The first week back to school was frightening but now a month later, school is almost over and I am starting to feel  somewhat normal. Do you think this will just take time for me to completely get over? I have been feeling depersonalisation because things didn't seem real and everything seemed like a dream. I would have to touch myself to see if I was real it seemed and I had bad anxiety ever since. I feel almost normal now but I am wondering if I just need to wait for the weed to get out of my system in order for me to feel normal again. I smoked weed about a week ago and ever since I think I should quit until I figure out my personal life. I have always felt depression even before I started smoking weed. Growing up as a child my mom was an alcoholic and she would give me suicide notes, my brother died when I was 13 and I was attacked by random people near my street a couple years ago which caused some paranoia and increased anxiety about walking outside at night. It's not like weed caused this, I think that it brought out the real me, it brought out my actual problems and I think the herb is just telling me to fix my issues that I have been having for so long. It's been just over a month and I am starting to feel much better. For the longest time my subconscious mind was paying attention to every breath which was hard and annoying to sleep. I still somewhat feel like this but I am starting to accept it and not care. I have a driving test in a couple weeks and I am scared to be honest. The weird thing is, I have always been scared to do new things like driving or getting a job. Even when I was a kid I was afraid to talk to girls, I know this may sound like I am crazy. I have gotten over the fears of talking to girls now though because I am 19 and not 14 any more.  I am hoping to see a psychologist shortly after my doctors appointment which I am hoping to get some clarification and advice to fix my issues. I was also very bullied as a child during elementary school because I was overweight which I think is the reason why I lost a lot of weight and I am now working out daily, mainly running. But, I am very self concious about my body now, I always look in the mirror at my body because I still worry about looking fat and what others think of me. I have always cared about what others think of me which I hate. I think I am getting better at thinking positive now. Another thing is, even before I started smoking weed, I was a very stressed person from school and my personal life. I get in fights with my mom and it stresses me out. She is no longer an alcoholic but it really bothers me even if she has one drink. What I think is weed is not bad for you and cannot harm in very many ways. It can trigger certain things as it had happened to me, but it is physically impossible to die from marijuana. I have smoked weed after my attack and I was fine for the most part. All marijuana does is relax you and increase the serotonin in your brain. It gives you the ability to think more outside the box and it makes you focus on things more which can create a paranoia. Anxiety and depersonalization are in your head. If you think negatively you will react negatively. I want to become a psychologist and I am going to university next year so I know a lot about the mind. I am just wondering if I will get over it and most people say it takes time which I agree with. I will not permanently stop smoking weed but I will definitely cut back drastically.