Am I Depressed? Suicidal Thoughts Every Day
I have suicidal thoughts every day, real vivid ones, I know where, when, how etc. sometimes I cry and I'm not sure why and when i start it can be hours till I've stopped completely, I don't mean all out bawling btw, just teary really, but that's the bad days most the time I feel fairly content, I can laugh and joke and go out with friends. I think I've lost my purpose in life I feel like I don't know why I'm here or what I'm meant to do but I don't feel what I imagine depression to feel like.
Throughout this though the good and bad I think of suicide every day like I said but every thought ends with me being found in time, ends with me being saved.
Do you think I need help and if so where do you go and what do you say? I'm not good at expressing myself or talking to people, none of friends or family know I feel this way. Is this normal ?
Do I just need to man up and get on with life?
Depression :: I Have Suicidal Thoughts
At least i can admit that. Im suicidal. I have suicidal thoughts. I cut myself but not so i bleed just so it hurts. I've been suicidal since i was younger but not its worse. I isolate myself a lot. I'm never truly happy. I feel useless, unloved, hated ect. I'm sad a lot but pretend like nothing is wrong so i dont have to hear 5 or more speeches 20 minutes -1 hour long from my family to be treated the same way again in 3 weeks. Or be asked what's wrong only to lie. I don't have any true friends and no one will listen without giving me useless advice. So im pretty much here to ask if there's any online therapist sites that anyone can direct me to. I don't want my family to know. They found out once and it was like living in hell. They thought i was crazy, "helped", lied to me, treated me like i was mentally ill. It wasn't fun and i can't tell them the real reason i want to do it so that was fun. So if anyone can help me. Please don't say tell your mom because she can't and won't help, talk to the counselor at your school because all she did was made me cry for two hours straight, don't do it because i've heard that from friends, teachers, family and on here way too many times anything like that. I have trust issues so that's why I'm asking for online... It's easier for me.
View 11 RepliesFluoxetine :: Depressed With Suicidal Thoughts
I'm 19 and was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks about 3 weeks ago and i got prescribed klonopin. anyways a week after i was diagnosed with depression i started feeling very down and not myself like i didn't even want to get up from bed or take showers or go out i just layed there and cried most of the time and had suicidal thoughts. so i finally decided to see a doctor and was diagnosed with depression and given fluoxetine 20mg i been on it for about 4 days, but this medicine is making me feel really out of it and for the past two days i have woken up feeling very agitated and fidgety and sometimes i don't even feel like myself i've heard this is called depersonalization and it feels awful i also feel like i've gotten more angrier with the medication, things annoy me more easily. sometimes i just sit there and i just wanna scream. overall i think my anxiety has gone away its just the depression now and it sucks i just wanna feel like myself again and i'm scared i never will.
View 2 RepliesSevere Depression/anxiety - Suicidal Thoughts
I am new to this site and have been having alot of issues as of late. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Even with medication I was having a hard time with life and due to this was let go from my job. I lost my medication when I lost my insurance. I began to spiral and crashed hard about a month ago. When I get depressed I become self destructive. I started drinking heavily, self harm mutilation, and had an affair with a stripper in which I received oral sex. When I sobered up a bit the guilt got to me so much I had to be hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. I am on new medication (buspar, wellbutrin xl, and remeron) but still have an issue with guilt and anxiety about the affair and possible std I may have gotten. I can't stay out of my head and still have many suicidal thoughts. I broke down and let my wife know what happened, for her part she is mad but willing to work it out. Any advice would help. Also do any of my meds cause horrible stomach cramps?
View 1 RepliesAnxiety :: Negative / Suicidal Thoughts With Paxil?
Experiencing negative thoughts, paranoid thoughts, and extreme anxiousness where I am focusing on dumb things. Do I stop taking it? I don't have a follow up doct apt for another 5 weeks
View 5 RepliesAnxiety :: Preoccupation With Death / Suicidal Negative Thoughts
I'm 17 and been suicidal for five years, i want to die all the time, preoccupation with suicidal thoughts has affected everything like my studies a sudden plummet in my academic score and physical health too, i only weigh 39 kg n im 5"3 tall girl. I want to die all the times i don't want to live Is this normal?
View 1 RepliesDepression :: Suicidal Negative Thoughts Flowing Through My Head
I am on a serious suicide path. I can't think straight. all I have are negative thoughts flowing through my head. I sitting here with a knife about to cut myself because there's no other way I can relive the pain. I don't know what I need right now. I need help I know that. I need a friend. I don't have friends. I have not a single person in my life that understands me in any way possible. I just want someone to listen and not criticize me. Or judge me. I am so tired of being judged. My head hurts so bad right now... everything hurts. There isn't anyone I can talk to...no one cares. Just someone please please help me before I do something dangerous to myself that can't be fixed. I don't want to hear a single "I'm sorry_______" because I know your not.
View 4 RepliesGabapentin :: Depression / Suicidal Thoughts - Side Effects?
My doctor wants me to take Gabapentin for some disc fragments giving me pain in my back. I'm worried because the side effects say that the side effects are depression or suicidal thoughts. Has anyone ever had these type of side effects or problems in general with this drug? Did it help them with their back pain!
View 11 RepliesMirtazapine Withdrawal :: Panic Attacks, Insomnia And Suicidal Thoughts
I have been on 30mg Mirt for over 3 years. It helped me sleep and all was fine. BUT I have put on 2 stone and cannot lose it. I went to my GP in June and asked how to come off it. He said to halve my dose for 2 weeks and if I felt ok to stop altogether. This I did. It was a disaster. Panic attacks, insomnia and suicidal thoughts. I Went right back on to my original dose and took a good month to stabilise.
In September I decided to try again, slowly. A new GP said that I was obviously unusually sensitive to this drug as she had never known anyone have a problem before.
Since then I have v gradually reduced down a quarter of a tablet every so often. About 4 weeks ago I was down to 7.5mg/day. I then started dropping off the tablets altogether. I am now on 7.5mg 4 nights a week.
I feel terrible. I was ok until the last 4 weeks. I feel shaky, hungover and nauseous all the time. I can't sleep and the nausea makes it worse. I have noticed that 4 days after dropping a dose I get terrible debilitating stomach cramps and a fearsome headache. This lasts for 24 hours and then leaves me with background nausea etc.
I would welcome advice as to whether to just keep on dropping the 7.5mg relatively quickly (every 2 or 3 weeks or so), or to wait until this awful state passes and then drop another and start feeling ill all over again. I just want it over with asap, but have to continue to work full time.
Anxiety :: Social Phobia, Depression And Suicidal / Negative Thoughts
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. I'm not being able to even hold a job right now. This makes my self esteem goes downhill and I can't get up of my bed because I fear people.
i'm a mid 30s woman and I'm not sure what made me become so sick. I have a string of failed relationships and in one of them I suffered domestic abuse. I started dating my current boyfriend as soon as my other relationship ended and had too many problems with him but we are still together. He is an ex addict and I'm always afraid he turns back to drinking and doing drugs.
sometimes I think I'm getting insane. I have panic attacks all the time, I can't process my feelings. I tried group meditation but I became too scared of people in general I just gave up. I'm locked home for a whole month now.
im truly thinking about ending my life. I don't see a point. My whole being is taken with these bad sensations, feelings, lack of hope, lack of control, my thoughts flow uncontrollable like a river and I just can't process anything. I'm getting old and I am a huge burden to everybody.
I don't wanna die. I wanted to know if anyone went through these hard times like me and was able to live again.
PTSD :: Cannot Get A Good Night's Sleep
So my main issue when dealing with my PTSD is the really vivid terrifying nightmares. I was controlling them for a while with trazodone, which I will admit I did not have a prescription for and received from a friend, but as I really don't feel like becoming addicted to medications, I've stopped taking it for the time being. Most of the other symptoms of my PTSD have so far not affected my day to day life but I cannot get a good night's sleep to save my life right and I was wondering if there was any type of meditation or something that you might recommend? I don't have the time or money right now to see a therapist or trauma expert.
View 2 RepliesUnable To Sleep Due To Negative Thoughts
I have a horrible time falling asleep, i almost always have to have a TV on to listen to and concentrate on in order to fall asleep. 90% of the time if i shut off the tv within minutes my mind is racing over negative thoughts. People i hate that have wronged me, lost loves, revenge I would like to have, then the next thing i'm full blown angry, heart racing and no chance of falling asleep. Its always just something random, worry about bills, worry about a better job, think of someone i hate/that wronged me. Once i fall asleep im usually good, its just so hard to get there. I cant shut my mind off. Ambien is a joke and does nothing, same with valium, i will chew up 3-4 off the shelf sleeping pills and sometimes that will put me out. The only times i have ever fell asleep well is all drugged up. Like a big ole xanax or so drunk i pass out. I just wish i could close my eyes and fall asleep, but as soon as its quiet my mind goes 100mph.
View 10 RepliesDifference Between PTSD And Complex-PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
I was recently diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The difference between C-ptsd and PTSD is that Complex happens over an extended period of time, and usually originates in childhood. Whereas PTSD is typically a one-time traumatic event (such as rape, war, etc).
After spending my entire life in pain, confusion, and emotionally abusive relationships, I finally have an answer. While it is a big relief, the process of recovery is not easy. I feel like there are two versions of me: The chameleon who has put on a good act and adapted for the sake of everyone else, and the real me, who has been hidden all these years. I'm just now starting to get to know the real me.
This is a relatively new diagnosis, and it didn't make it into the new DSM, but I read where someone said that Complex PTSD is at the core of a great many mental health issues.
(Age 25-34) Pregnancy :: Agitation With Nausea Andvomiting (37 Weeks)
Anyone one else have these symptoms at 37 weeks +? I'm 37 w +6 and last night I felt horrible.
View 6 RepliesSertraline :: Tiredness And Agitation - Zoloft Side Effects
New to this Zoloft thing 1 week in ! Hoping I'm on the right road to recovery ! This has been a tough 5 months ! Feeling some side effects such as tiredness and agitation would this subside ?
View 13 RepliesSleep Disorders :: 3-6 Hours Of Sleep Until I Wake Up And Cant Go Back To Sleep
I'm 14 years old and yesterday school started after two weeks of holidays. I went to bed at 11 PM and woke up at 4 AM. I tried to go back to sleep but I just couldn't. At 6 AM I got up and got ready for school. After school I was really tired and took an hour long nap, but I was still extremely tired. I went to bed at 9 PM and fell asleep in a second. I woke up at 2:30 AM and tried my best to fall asleep, but it didn't work. Its 6 AM right now and Ive done some homework, as I couldnt do them yesterday because I was so tired. The thing is, this didn't happen in my holiday, and I get really cranky when I don't get enough sleep. Do I have insomnia?
View 3 RepliesMirtazapine :: Suicidal Mood Very Low No Energy
I've been on mirt 45mg since the end of April. i would say i've been ok on it mood varies until last week I thought I was back in a living he'll. I was suicidal mood very low no energy. i feel a bit more human today I just wondered if anyone else has suffered anything like this.
View 15 RepliesMirtazapine :: Seeing Little Black Floaters, Emotional And Suicidal
I've been on mirtazapine for about 3/4 weeks now. When I first took them I had extreme tiredness.. Song with muscle aches and heart palpitations. After a week or so these symptoms seemed to go (minus the tiredness). These past three days I've been feeling dizzy constantly. Not so much dizzy.. More like off balance, I've also had problems with my visions, such as seeing little black floaters.. I know dizziness is a side effect but I didn't realise symptoms could kick in after two weeks. I've also been feeling more emotional and suicidal and I'm not quite sure why...
View 4 RepliesWhat Is Complex-PTSD?
I don't agree with my bpd/eupd diagnosis and believe that this is the condition I'm actually suffering from. I'm not self-diagnosing just wonder if anybody has this and can tell me a little bit how it affects them?
View 1 Replies