Alcohol Consumption :: Sober For 90 Days
I've been sober 90 days. I just wanted to share it somewhere, to mark it somehow... I hope it doesn't sound (too) self-congratulating.
I was never sure that counting days was a good idea - I try not to dwell on how long it's been but I can't help it really!
It feels like a big moment (a quarter of a year!) but as ever I'm taking each day as it comes, being careful not to get complacent. Sometimes I go days on end without temptation, some days the temptation is like a fly buzzing in front of my face. Only last night, when I was feeling quite down in the dumps, the temptation to have a drink was suddenly very strong indeed. I just kept thinking 'oh go on, you've done so well - a couple of cans of lager would really take the edge off and you've earned it'.
For me, exercise has really helped. Booking an early morning exercise class for when I'm a bit stressed creates the impetus to have an early night. A couple of friends have said 'you're getting addicted to exercise' - maybe true but as I now know there are worse things to get addicted to!
I've been having treatment for anxiety for a few years, and I've been surprised at how going sober has lessened my overall anxiety. My old notion that alcohol de-stressed me was a myth I had come to believe. Last month I overcame my fear of flying and got on a plane for the first time in 10 years. I can't link this *directly* to sobriety but maybe it isn't a coincidence.
Substance Abuse :: Still Depressed AFTER Quitting Drugs/drink/meds
I finally quit abusing various substances 7 weeks ago. My addiction started with alcohol, went onto street drugs and then ended 7 weeks ago with prescription drug abuse. I saw an addiction specialist before i got clean and she told me i had 'polysubstance' addiction and wanted £40k from me to get clean so i decided to do it myself and i finally detoxed 7 weeks ago. I have to say i don't miss the drugs and i have absolutely no desire to return to any kind of substance but i'm really struggling on a daily basis right now. I'm so depressed, lacking in motivation, low on energy, suffering memory loss, bored.... the list goes on. Every negative emotion you can think of i am experiencing it everyday. SURELY this can't be right?? I mean its been 7 bloody weeks and i'm still a scruff-bag. I can't apply myself to do anything meaningful other than a bit of light daily exercise and showering. Those 2 small things take me forever to do because i just put them off as long as possible. I feel like i'm not getting better. I really really hope someone reads this and has experienced something similar and can tell me i'm going to eventually feel happy again?!? The thought of my life continuing on like this just ***** and i have no idea what to do. I thought about maybe i need to be put on some anti depressants but due to my medication abuse in the past i'm very dubious. I just want to know what's wrong with me and why i cant get better. why am i a nervous wreck and unrecognisable even 7 weeks on. :o(
Has anyone any clue or ideas about how long this torture is going to last? Its actually worse than the initially detox because its not improving. I'm stuck in a living hell. This discussion is related to Depression after quitting heroin and crack.
Quitting Cannabis After 14 Years
I am a 28 year old male that as smoked cannabis on an of for pretty much 13/14 years the last 6 bein skunk and every single day am on day 4 and have not smoked a single bit last night I had a really good sleep for the first time in 3 nights I feel so much more alert and like I can take anything on and conquer it was before I was worried about my next bong I can honestly say I will never smoke again it ruined my life and cost me thousands and thousands of pounds of my wages over the years av also just woke up and realised i'm hungry haha anybody now how long till i'm fully clean please with being a heavy smoker am prob 6ft3 and just under 13.
View 20 RepliesQuitting Cannabis - The Best Way To Stop It?
I've been a smoker for 10 years for anxiety & manic depression i find it gives me the ability to socialise & be happy , now it's made me depend on it for sleep & other things i wish i could just get it out of my life . cost is one thing but being tired all time . feeling un well, & having to risk my lisence when i drive is why i want to quit, any ideas on best way to go about stopping , it affects my emotions bad wen i dont smoke.
View 2 RepliesQuitting Cannabis - Scared To Be An Alcoholic Afterwards
I have been smoking cannabis since i was 14 and am now nearly 19. even though i have not smoked for as many years as others here i can relate to a lot of the points they are making. Cannabis is a great drug when you first start smoking it but in later years i have found myself on edge whenever i haven't had a spliff. However i find after 3 days of going without a spliff it gets much easier.
Since starting university this year i have met a lot of people that do not smoke cannabis and never would, this has opened my mind in a huge way as before i came here i was in a group of friends where everyone smoked it. These days i do feel that cannabis detaches me from the world and it doesn't help in social situations at all. finding a girlfriend is becoming increasing difficult as i spend few hours of my life not stoned. The problem is i do need some escapism from this reality and i can't find it at the bottom of a bottle. For some people drinking is great but i would choose weed any day over alcohol. Friends of mine that have given up cannabis have become full blown alcoholics, i don't think i could face going down that route. Cannabis use does concern me a lot and i think i am on the way to giving it up altogether. Besides the effects are so insignificant these days compared to what it use to be when i was 14. Its always hard though when you know your friend downstairs has just picked up a fresh eighth. I am making a committed effort to give it up altogether as my chemistry course is too difficult for me to go on smoking daily. Lets just hope my tobacco consumption doesn't double as a result.
Quitting Cannabis After 18 Years - Life Is Much Better Than Before
I am a 42 year old man. I smoked cannabis almost continuously for 18 years until 18 days ago (scope the symmetry!). For about three quarters of that period I knew it was messing me up badly: gone were the giggles and the intellectual intensity, replaced by paranoia, reclusiveness, depression, mania and aggression, associated police trouble, self-harm, chest pains, erectile disfunction, etc etc et cetera. Although fully aware of all this more than substantial downside, nevertheless towards the end, I was spending £50pw on toxic-grade skunk, and it was driving me completely crazy.
Three or four weeks ago, I decided I was going to quit at the end of the world cup. And I did. I've been 18 days clean so far, and my life has changed dramatically. I've replaced talking with mad levels of exercise: going to the gym 3 days a week, swimming, walking everywhere, 2 hours of 5-a-side football once a week with a bunch of 25 yr olds. I've become a confident and witty social animal. I'm enjoying my phd studies. I've even acquired a lover, the delicate problem alluded to above being already a thing of the past!
There is life after weed; a damn sight better than the one I lived during weed.
Two caveats: I'm not sleeping well, tho' that may be due in part to the heatwave. And I'm drinking a little bit more. Previously my drinking was slightly below HMG's recommended limit; now it's probably slightly above - something I should keep an eye on, especially given that it's a symptom of my newfound enjoyment of life. Hopefully it'll settle down again quite quickly.
Cannabis :: Severe Anxiety And Depression - Quitting After 15 Years
I having been a cannabis smoker since the age of 15, I feel compelled to write my comments here and hope someone learns a little if not a lot! I am now 31 and stopped smoking cannabis 7 weeks ago - I have been an habitual smoker for 16 years. I always thought (in my ignorance) that the drug helped to 'calm' me that it gave me a more 'peaceful' life when in actual fact it stopped me from relating to others, helped me to disconnect and run away from myself. As a teenager (late teens) even my parents used to say that it stopped me from being so 'fiery'! But as the years have rolled on and the cannabis became a bigger part of my life it became the one thing for me to rely on, my friend and it would never fail to be there for me. From the age of 17 I was smoking it everyday and would struggle to have a day without it. In the mornings I would always still be 'stoned' from the night before and was rolling a 'joint' for breakfast which would turn into to up to 10 or so 'joints' per day. As I reached my early 20's (looking back now I understand - I didn't at the time) cannabis was the biggest part of my life and was ruining every part of me. Being a successful human being was not part of my agenda, getting 'stoned' was the most important thing. At the age of 18 i started going to 'raves' and started taking ecstasy, cocaine, amphetamines and various others, but never heroin....that frightened me! Drugs were a bigger part of my life than anything else, I have always managed to hold down a job and had good jobs, often managerial positions and I worked hard. Life went on like this until I hit 26 and felt that life had finally caught up with me - I felt suicidal and very depressed (obviously wasn't blaming the drugs!) life was all too much for me and I didn't know which way to turn. My relationship with my parents had deteriorated so badly and they didn't understand, so I went to the doctors to ask for help. I was prescribed the antidepressants that she had been trying to prescribe to me for the past 2 years and I didn't want to take them, but felt that I had no option. I guess they did help to numb me and to stop the deep depressive states, but now I was on prescribed drugs and still smoking enormous amounts of 'pot'. Six months later I was not in any better space and my father's comment of 'you need professional help' got me thinking maybe he was right. I found a private psychotherapist that advertised in my doctor's surgery and have now been in therapy for nearly five years and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. She has helped me to understand the 'why's' that I never could have found for myself - I have just finished a two year college course and will be starting another one in September - I am a 'drug addict' and always will be.....after 7 weeks of not smoking 'pot' I have clarity in my life again. I don't feel paranoid, edgy, vacant, detached or different.....it has been hard and yes, I have smoked through my college course and I feel sure that it would have come easier to me had I not smoked. I also now understand that I smoked it to escape unhappy memories of my childhood - therapy has helped me to discuss, deal with and understand that unhappy little girl that turned to drugs because she was lost and sad - I have spent nearly £10,000 pounds (which has been hard money to find, but I have done it on my own) on my therapy and finally I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - I feel good about myself, I have great relationships with my friends and in the last 7 weeks life is not so scary and I don't feel the need to get 'stoned' to be able to cope. I am sure I still have a journey to travel and some days I have felt a little low and had the urge to get 'stoned' but know that there is so much to embrace about life that I don't want to keep squashing myself - I no longer want to be insignificant, I have so much to give to the world! I guess that sounds a little 'cheesy' but I am embracing life with both hands and trying hard to hold on - it's hard but very empowering. In my opinion cannabis use is so very harmful....its so misunderstood and I believe it is as harmful as alcohol....I do mean taken on a daily basis to excess. I am currently watching one of my closest friends go through a 'hell' of a time - she too has been smoking since we were in school and she smokes 'weed/grass' only. She suffers with serious paranoia, recently lost her job and is generally detached from the world - she sadly will not go into therapy and also takes a high dosage of anti depressants, I cannot help her, she can only help herself and she is well aware that the cannabis holds her back, clouds her life, stops her relating and generally makes her life a misery - I love her and can do nothing to help her she has to want to help herself. I am fortunate for being able to embrace my deepest and innermost fears, anxieties and what made me turn to drugs for escapism. When I look around me, anyone I know that smokes cannabis doesn't have a great life, they don't live life to their fullest potential, they don't relate to friends, family and society in general as others that do not smoke do. This is a powerful drug and believe me when I say it is addictive, because I struggle (a little less every day) daily...... I now want a drug free life, that is so important to me, for all the years I have held myself back I now want to soar - I'm scared of being successful which is why I smoked 'pot' but I will go back to college in september and I will pass my next course and I will become successful in my chosen career and cannabis will not be a part of that.
View 4 RepliesUnable To Maintain Erection After Quitting Cannabis (11 Years Of Use)
I wa with my gf for the first time last night. I'm 27 and I have been smoking weed for about 11 years (i quit as a new year resolution, 8 months ago) and I couldn't keep an erection and I am now incredibly worried that this problem might be permanent. I feel bad for my gf, because she was turning me on in a big way but i just couldn't stay erec. What can I do?
View 1 RepliesCannabis Addiction :: Haze After Quitting Smoking Marijuana
The last time I smoked marijuana was around the 13th of January, but I still have the feeling of laziness and like I'm almost looking through some kind of film or something. Like I feel when I'm high. Is this normal this long after quitting? Or is this "hazy" feeling potentially due to a medical cause. My sight isn't really impaired, but my sight is like I'm high still, like I'm looking through a haze.
I smoked multiple times a day for about a year and a half. It doesn't go away, and it hasn't gotten any better over the time since I've quit.
Cannabis Addiction :: Insomnia After Quitting (non-heavy Smoker)
For the past 3-4 months, I have smoked pot ONCE (depending on mood 1-3 joints) every night to help me go to sleep faster. I've never had insomnia problems or addiction problems before these few months (smoked 2-3 times a week for 6 months prior; and once or twice a month for 5 years before that). Now I find it extremely difficult to go to sleep. My body feels warm everywhere and even if I manage to fall asleep eventually, I never managed to fall into deep sleep and normally wake up within 4 hours feeling unrested. Any advice or similar experiences?
View 1 RepliesCannabis Quitting (2 Weeks) - Racing Jumbled Up Thoughts - Lost Focus On Job At Hand
quit 2 weeks ago or so which i'm well chuffed about but just wanted to know if other people have had racing thoughts or thoughts being jumbled up like really hard to focus on job at hand? either near the end of their smoking habit or when coming off it.
View 1 RepliesCannabis :: Zombie Feeling Days After Having Weed?
4 days ago my friends told me to try weed and so I did but only 2 small hits, after that I felt what every person trying weed for the first time felt. The next day we tried another one, but my friends made me do 3 hits, once again small hits and felt the same thing as the day before. The next day I woke up and still felt 'high' felt like a zombie walking doin tv. Stuff I didn't remember doing, 4 days have passed since the first time I tried it and I still feel 'high' And i feel almost in an unreal state of mind. like i'm not all there. I try to deal with it, but i really want to feel normal again. It wasn't laced because no one else felt weird but me. i have no idea what's going on. Whenever I walk around or do stuff, I feel like a zombie and don't remember doing the stuff sometimes. I guess what I'm trying to ask is how long will this effect last? And if I need to go get medical attention what do I say because I'm only 18 will the doctor call police or something?
View 7 RepliesCannabis :: Severe Depression Days After Smoking Weed
A year ago i was diagnosed with depression and i'm on lexapro and risperidone. Then about half a year ago i tried weed. It was the worst experience of my life, my heart was pumping hard a kept burping, every 2 seconds i'd forget everything and re-realize i was high (thinking that the last 2 seconds were a dream), and it would repeat. I begged for it to stop. I thought it was something to do with my depression or something but i don't know. Anyway that's not why i'm here, 2 weeks ago i was sitting in school then the same type of thing happened except not as bad, i thought everything was a dream, i went to the toilet out of fear 3 times in the space of 10 minutes, i couldn't talk to anyone cause i wasn't able to focus on what they were saying. I was lucky because it happened on a half day so i went home 30 minutes later. Later that day i was suddenly better, the whole school day was vague and i barely believed any of it had happened. This has happened twice now in the past 2 weeks and im scared itll happen again.
I thought i had bad memory but i now think it's because every day i have this effect (just not as bad) so when i wake up the next morning i vaguely remember the day before as if it happened 2 weeks ago.
I have depression, some social anxiety, tiredness, laziness, short attention span.
(on a side note i think this is pure coincidence but one of the times it happened was when me and one of my friends were talking and he said 'What if none of this is real like in the matrix?
Cannabis Addiction :: How Many Days Are Enough To Pass A Drug Test?
I am 5'11 and 176 pounds. I've smoked about 4-5 times in the past 2 months but the last time I smoked was 20 days ago. I also lift weights a lot but don't do a lot of cardio. I stand in the sun & sweat at work & I've been drinking tons of water. Can I pass a piss test by Monday July 8th? This drug test will literally ruin my life if I don't pass. What can I do from now until Monday to clean my body of thc?
View 2 RepliesCannabis Addiction :: Weird Feelings For Three Days After Smoking Weed
i smoked some weed with my friends. this my second time, but this time when i got home i suddenly felt so weird. now i feel like everything is fake, im body sometimes goes num. i had a panic attack. i went to the hospital but didn't tell them that i smoked so the doctors didn't do nothing. i swear this is the last time ill ever smoke please somebody give some advice. im only 14 i want to live life to the fullest.
Weaning Off Xanax - Getting Clean/sober
March 25th I made the decision to leave the entertainment industry and get sober. Since then I have slipped up and drank only 3 times and have no desire to sip a drink again... It always makes me feel worse/horribly depressed. It just brings me to a dark place. I have been taking Xanax for the past 7 years because it helped me deal with my job... Being in the spotlight... Having no privacy... And it also helped me deal with a very mentally abusive Husband who also happened to be an actor and active cocaine addict. I am proud to say that I filed for divorce and finally got away from a very toxic lifestyle that I felt was leading to my death.
I am weening off Xanax... I am down to 3 mg a day (I was taking up to 10 mg a day... Maybe more at my worst point) and I am under a doctor's supervision.
All of this is just so hard. My whole life is changing and I know it is changing for the better in regards to my health but this is so hard. Divorce, massive job/.lifestyle change, moving out of la, searching for a job and going through all my savings fast. It is SO SO hard not to get caught up in fear right now. I have been SUPER depressed and overwhelmed and I have been letting my depression and anxiety get the best of me lately. I'm feeling really defeated lately and super overwhelmed.
Depression :: Depressed, Got Better, Depressed Again
HOW IT STARTED:
Yes, I was one of those annoying people who all the teachers liked.
Once, one of my professors even told me I was one of the "golden children" of my year. I suppose I worked so hard to get good grades because all my life I had been encouraged and enabled to do my best. I was used to success. In college I even overcame my shyness and gained a lot of good friends and a handful of real, true friends who I deeply care for. I had a part-time job in my fiend that I worked between classes, and I was looking forward to continuing my upward climb to success.
So when I lost my out-of-college job because the company had a financial catastrophe that made it impossible for them to hire me, I figured, "Hey, I'll just get another job and move on with my life. No big."
But almost a year later I still didn't have a job, and because I'm inherently introverted I had lost touch with most of my friends because they were all too far away to see in person and I'm terrible at keeping up with social media. I was living at home with my parents, sleeping in the spare bed in my sisters' room, and slowly realizing that all the people who were "Looking forward to seeing me succeed in the future" were going to be direly disappointed in me.
FIRST WAVE:
New Year 2013 brought on odd feelings. I still had hope that things would improve, but they consistently didn't. I lost a few big freelance clients that I was counting on because I made a few dumb mistakes, and that made things worse. I started crying in the bathroom for "no reason," not understanding why I was feeling so down and out when I still had potential, I just wasn't living up to it yet.
Fast forward a few months and I had basically given up on myself. I believed I was a loser, someone who had let down the many people who had trusted me with their wisdom and advice. I wasn't one of the "golden children," I was a pathetic fake who couldn't even call someone on the phone without feeling incredibly anxious, much less actually interview for a job. All the confidence I'd gained in college was gone and I felt even less sure of myself than I did in high school.
It was like the "real me" got locked in a room somewhere and I couldn't find her.
My mom noticed I was moody and finally confronted me about it, but instead of helping it only made me feel like she was even more disappointed in me and fed my unconfidence even more. Then, one day, after my mom got angry at me once again for being unable to communicate my real thoughts because I was so confused myself, my dad came out and let me sit there and cry until I had composed myself enough to speak. He was calm enough to keep me relatively calm and we discovered that the depression was probably coming from a few different sources. I was feeling lonely without my friends. I was back in my childhood home and reverting to the unconfident person I used to be. I was disappointed in myself and projecting imagined feelings of disappointment from others onto myself. I never got out of the house so I felt isolated. I wasn't making a steady income and that was stressing me out. Etc.
I decided to stop freelancing full time and get a job so I could at least get out of the house, make a steady income, and be around people. But after several interviews that were just awful because I either didn't have enough qualifications for that particular job or because I was having an off day and feeling really socially awkward, I didn't get any of the jobs.
SECOND WAVE:
I revamped my hope. But then it got crushed.
I'm still not as bad as I was last year, but I'm starting to feel like randomly crying again and sometimes my skin feels like it's going to wriggle off with how much I just want to get out of my house. I'm so afraid that I'm going to delve back into self-loathing-ville again, and I know that I sabotage myself when I'm like that. I so do not want to lost this tiny bit of momentum I've achieved, but I can't make things move faster. I can't get a job any faster, I can't get a car until I have money from a job, I can't get a job sometimes because I don't already have a car, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm going crazy.
SO...
I know a lot of people around my age are going through things like this but for my particular situation does anyone know how to help me push through until things improve? I'm getting so tired of feeling so bad and I'm losing my energy trying to keep going. My parents are enabling me to stay home and do nothing but I don't want to stay home and do nothing! I want to get a job and be independent and have autonomy and start becoming who I used to be again so I can be a confident, awesome person! AAH!
Also, right now I'm not feeling so bad so I have a sense of humor, but in an hour or so I might be curled up in the bathroom crying into a towel so no one will hear me. I got on this forum in the first place because my skin was feeling antsy and I wanted to get away so badly and I wanted to know if other people felt the same way. Crazy mood swings, anyone?
Periods Heavy For 2 Days, Medium For 2 Days, Then Light For 1-2 Days
Please tell me is my period flow normal. I used to get 5-6 day periods, heavy for 2 days, medium for 2 days, then light for 1-2 days until it tapered off and ended. It was this way even when I was on birth control.
For the past few months now, I have been getting 3-4 day periods, where the first day is really just some spotting indicating my period is going to be starting. The second day is my heavy day. The third day is medium light. The 4th day is light. I'm still on birth control. I am 30 years old now.
Also last month, my period color was dark brown and I also had some black colored clotting during my heavy day. I know some blood clots are normal during menstruation, I had them all my life. But this blood clot was black. Again this month on my heavy day, I had black colored clot. It was a dime size clot. Size was not large. Is black color clotting anything to worry about? I do not see red blood these past two periods like I am used to seeing. I am seeing mostly brown and/or black.
And how can I increase my menstrual flow. I am worried that my endometrium lining is thinning and can cause a problem when I do try for children.
Cannabis Addiction :: THC, The Psychoactive Chemical In Cannabis Sativa, Cause Diarrhoea
Does THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) the psychoactive chemical in cannabis sativa cause diarrhoea as well? I have no idea if thisis the case as all I know is that every time I use Cannabis, well I have to make several urgent detours to the loo!
If not THC, then what else could be in CS that would cause diarrhoea? (Some people claim that they experience real bad cases of the runs upon discontinuing the use of pot. Now in my case as I do NOT smoke the stuff, as there is already enough air pollution to go around, why pollute the lungs even further? Therefore I eat it in certain baked goods such as the old fashioned Alice B. Toklas brownies. (Could this be the cause of diarrhoea)?