Addiction Recovery :: Day One - Suboxone
So I made the big plunge yesterday and went through with something I'd been tossing around in my head the last couple months. I went to a clinic and got a prescription for Suboxone.
Since I'm a school teacher, one of my biggest worries was actually walking into a Suboxone clinic and someone recognizing me. It would come as quite a shock to some (in my mind) to see Mr. B____, the local English teacher, lined up to get a prescription for his opiate addiction. Just goes to show that addiction doesn't pick and choose whom it affects. But I overcame my ridiculous fears and went on in today.
There are actually two clinics in the small city where I live (at least nearby). One clinic as open on Saturday, looked to be a nicer looking facility, but they don't take insurance. It would have cost $500 for the first visit, without even considering the cost of the drug itself. So I went with other clinic that did take my insurance, and I was only out 35 dollars (My prescription copay was to be $40 for the name brand strips, but the clinic gave me a discount card that took care of my copay, which was a pleasant surprise...this wasn't a one time deal...it will cover my copay each time I get the med). Being a teacher with a wife and three kids...every dollar helps for me. For those interested, the card will help those who are either pay in cash or use have insurance other than Medicare. The card pays up to $50.
The clinic is only open two hours (two days a week), so I was a little curious how they handled so many patients in so little time. The answer came to me as I was shuffled through the clinic cattle at a sale barn. Though there was a thick stack of papers to sign, some of which asked detailed questions about my addiction and health history, I got the feeling I was getting a product wrapped up and sold for the masses, not for me as an individual. It is sad for me to think of those who don't have the ability to educate themselves on what it is they are taking. Even I, after months of research on the internet, am still confused on quite a few contradictory opinions and ideals regarding Suboxone.
The clinic is located in a less than desirable part of town, and the waiting room did not exactly make one feel comfortable. It was hot, and everyone in there looked pretty miserable. I was comforted, though, by the fact that there were no familiar faces. It also gave me comfort knowing that we were all there for the same reason, and none of us had anything to hide. I could go into more detail about this experience, but I have jabbered too much already.
Long story short, I peed in a cup, the results of which I was not told. I knew coming into the clinic that there was no dispensing medication at the clinic, so there was no worry for me to stay clean for 24-48 hours. I took 40mg of hydrocodone at 7:00 the night before, so I wasn't completely miserable at the time of the appointment.
Strangely, my vitals or any other normal "clinic" methods were practiced. I went straight from peeing in a cup to talking to the doctor who was sitting behind this big beaten up wooden desk in a stale smelling office. The doctor thumbed through my file and asked basic questions about how much I was using and where I was getting it. I was in and out of his office in less than 5 minutes.
I didn't lie about my drug use, and I was prepared to share much more. I pretty much told him that I got hooked on opiate painkillers after multiple operations that required them. Also, I have had two DVT blood clots that required me to be on blood thinners, and thus not able to take most standard OTC painkillers such as naproxen or ibuprofen. I had been fed hydrocodone for years with few questions asked. My problem is that I like the way they make me feel and have spent the past ten years trying to get my hands on enough to manage my pain and feed my addiction.
I believe it us by the grace of God that I have not found myself in a worse predicament than I currently find myself. I have never injected anything, but I suppose that would have been the next stop for me. I had been doctor and pharmacy shopping for years and I knew how to work the system pretty well. Even in my heyday though I wasn't able to get my hands on quite enough. I was always counting pills and worrying about when I would run out. I soon found myself "borrowing" from my mother and other friends. I found myself doing things I never imagined I'd be doing. Shameful things to feed my habit. My wife discovered my problem years ago as and threatened to leave me more than once. To lose her and my children would have devastated me. One would think that I would turn my back on the pills considering all I had to lose. But that was not enough to stop me. I guess if my wife didn't love me (a lot) she would have left me tears ago.
I was fine while on my hydros,though, but when I ran out and became sick from withdrawals, I was miserable. I felt miserable , and I was miserable to be around. I made and broke more promises than I can count to my wife, mother, and father, friends, and family.
I have had many of those moments of enlightenment where it became clear that I could no longer go on with this. There have been months at a time where I was able to stay clean. But some kind of life event always drove me back to the pills. I would have a surgery or other physical problem, or life would become so stressful that I would choose to hit the exit door and insulate myself from the world around me by delving into the world of pills.
There is another component yo my story that is important to share. In 1995 I had a bad auto accident that broke several of my bones and kept me in the hospital about a week. Worse than the physical wounds, however, I found myself battling emotional wounds. By the time I turned 22 I found myself battling terrible panic attacks that marked the beginning of my struggle with chronic depression that has lasted until now (I'm now 41). I have tried. nearly every antidepressant known to man. In the end I settled good old Prozac and Klonopin. Neither of which has done a great deal to relieve my depressive symptoms. I currently take 40 mg of Prozac and 2 mg of Klonopin in the morning and 2 mg at night. No, I have never abused Klonopin in the way I have hydrocodone. I don't feel blissful on either medication. I only notice them in their absence. I have tried to quit both and have experienced hellish withdrawals with each. My sub doctor indicated that he would like to see me come off of both quickly. I understand that taking benzos with Suboxone is a dangerous combination, but quitting cold turkey, especially with the Klonopin can be equally dangerous. He said he would like to see me off of both within six months. I don't see this happening but maybe Suboxone will allow it?
Getting to my main point. I have not been drawn to opiates because of recreational use. They were, as I've written, prescribed for physical pain. But the best aspect about opiates to me was their positive effect on the symptoms of my depression. Nothing I've taken comes close to making me feel "normal" as do opiates.
Hydrocodone, oxycodone etc... do make me feel "not depressed" but they are a kind of fools gold. My body and mind quickly build up a tolerance for them, and I find myself taking more and more to feel "not depressed". So when I started reading more and more about Suboxone, I became very interested. The medicine might be able to help me break the cycle of pill addiction, and help me as a type of antidepressant.
There seem to be two opposing camps on this issue. Some believe it is ridiculous to even consider Suboxone as a long term treatment for depression. Some might say I'm making the same mistake as I did with hydrocodone...expecting a band aid to heal a much deeper disease. There others who see Suboxone as a type of synergistic agent that might be legitimate weapon to combat depression. I can understand the viewpoints from both sides, but as for me, I'm willing to at the very least give Suboxone a few days to see how it makes me feel. I can tell you this, that I can already feel the positive effects of the Suboxone on my depression. There was an initial semi state of euphoria a couple of hours after I took my first strip, but I don't exactly feel " high". I feel rather normal capable of doing things that I would ordinarily struggle with (like typing this ridiculously long post that most people won't have the patience to read!)
I'm not sure how things will go from here. I'm not sure how I will sleep tomorrow or how I will feel with my next dose. But I will say that it feels good to have some hope. I have been worrying all summer how I would be able to gut out another year in the classroom with my raging depression and addiction cycles. I don't know how it will end, but at the end of the day it is nice to be able to look back and say that I did the right thing, that I tried to make the right choice.
Addiction Recovery :: Opana To Suboxone?
I have an addiction problem with my prescribed Opana and I need some advice and help from anyone who knows about my situation.
I'm stuck in the middle between a legit need for strong pain meds and apparently a predisposition to addiction. I was on Fentanyl patches from 2005 to 2012 when I went to residential treatment for 30 days because I had been "cheeking" strips of my patches for over a year. Anyway, long story short, the plan there was to transition me from fentanyl to suboxone using Opana as a bridge med. I tried induction from Opana to sub twice and felt horrible. The day after the second attempt, the place was raided by the DEA so I chose to come home on the Opana for my pain.
Fast forward a year and a half and my pain doc has kept me on the Opana but the problem is that I've been snorting the IR for almost a year. I'm on the ER 20 mg twice a day which I take orally as directed, and I am prescribed the IR 10 mg 5 x day, those are the ones I crush and snort....10 mg - 5 times a day.
I want to stop doing this but I am so scared...I have read that Opiate withdrawal is very hard. And I wonder if the original plan to have me on Suboxone is a good one....if it will give me the pain relief I need. Does anyone know if the bupe is a good pain reliever? What about if it doesn't work well enough....I've heard that suboxone is a b**ch to come off of too!
So I told my psychiatrist (who does some addiction work) and she wants to refer me out to an addiction specialist. I've been with this psy doc for 14 years and she knows me well and how delicate my stability is. They want to do this switch in a detox center in town where I live which I am OK with if I can get my questions answered about the suboxone...and it may turn out the addiction doc (who does chronic pain as well) will want me off opiates to try and treat my fibromyalgia in other ways. I'm skeptical about that....but I digress
So. To sum it up I came to this board because I obviously am an addict. I need help getting off the Opana, which is coming...but I am scared. Terrified of the withdrawal and being left in pain. And to repeat my main questions.... does anyone know if suboxone is a good strong pain reliever? What about then being stuck on suboxone long term... is that done for pain? Sorry, I know,that's a bit off topic for these boards but I figured you here may know more about Sub.
Thanks in advance for any help. Oh...I forgot to mention....I am stalled at the moment with the new addiction doc....my psy doc called him while I was in her office and told him about me. He said I could go to the detox center but I want to have a consultation with him fist to get my questions answered...I've called his office twice in the past week to make an appointment and he hasn't called back. So I am continuing to gather info while I wait.
Addiction Recovery :: Norco Withdrawl
Today is day 3 for me. I am prescribed 90 norco a month and found this month for the first time I finished them 9 days early. So, I guess that means I take about 6 day. I use to take 1 at a time. I soon discovered that if I take
1 1/2 at a time , not only will my back/hip pain subside, but I feel pretty "good" also. I've been known to take 2 at a time also...
I ran out and had no way of getting anymore. I found myself waking up at 5am like clockwork for the past three mornings with the "bubble guts" and having to take these weird bowl movements. Truth be told, I am not in a lot of pain. I am just anxious to get more meds to avoid having the bubble guts first thing in the morning and using the bathroom at work (which is a very small office by the way =/). I don't like the sleep deprivation either since I have a very demanding job and three kids aged 13, 8, and 4.
Bottom line is, I know I take the pills for more than the physical pain. I can admit that. I do have physical pain, but there are times where I can hold off. No other pain med will do. My body laughs at Motrin 800 and Baclofen and I am trying to find a way to get to work tomorrow with a clear head. I have Tramadol and hate it. It just makes me feel in a cloud, but not so much "good". I am seeking the "good" sensation. It's the truth. I know meds aren't good for the body, so if I'm going to take them I'd rather take the good stuff-something that will work.
I feel sort of bad for saying this as I know there are some real troopers out there who can quit cold turkey...but, as soon as I can fill my prescription (in 5 days), I will probably pick them up on my lunch break. Sad. For those of you who can quit cold turkey, I applaud you because withdrawals SUCK. I didn't mention the other symptoms: runny nose (odd), cough (something in my throat causes me to go on these brief coughing episodes), goose bumps (chills), night sweats, irritability (and feeling like a crackhead for being in this position). I can totally deal with those things, but the deal breakers for me is the insomnia and the bubble guts...I will try to taper off. Until next time.
Addiction Recovery :: Need Help With Opiate Withdrawal
I am 34 I am married and have kids. I had gotten kidney stones during a pregnancy since doctors couldn't give me anything to help pass them I ended up taking vicodin 2 500 every 4 hrs. It was a prescription well I ended up giving birth and finally passed them about 2 weeks after delivery. By that time I got hooked I couldn't stop and I ended up buying off the streets. It started as 1 or 2 a day then ended up going up just to get the same feeling. I could take up to 12 a day sometimes and sometimes it would only be 4 a day. It was basically whatever I can afford. I never thought I could end up like this!!! From never taking anything to being dependent on a pill. I was spending all my money on these pills If I didn't use one day I would be sick I just wasn't me anymore. Finally 7 days ago I finally had enough and stopped. The physical symptoms are gone but it's the mental part now that's hard to deal with. I feel very anxious especially in the am because that's when I first started using. I have a lot of ups and downs through the day. I guess I was just numb to any feelings all day and now I feel very anxious. I wish I can push a button and skip this part of my life. I am so depressed but I manage to get up and do some things around the house. I tried to stop one other time and all I did was lay down and cried my kids thought I had the flu this time I am not doing the same mistake I am trying to be more motivated but I run out of energy fast!!!! I started taking a multivitamin when I stopped taking the pills. I take tylenol pm to sleep at night and started effexor for the anxiety which seems to be helping right now that's why I think I made it so far. I really just need to talk to some of you about your experiences and kind words
View 3 RepliesAddiction Recovery :: Tapering Off Xanax
Hi, I am new here. Just looking for some advice or suggestions. Maybe even encouragement. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Panic Disorder in August of 2012. I began taking Ativan. I was on it for about a year, my highest dose was 1.5 mg per day. This started out as needed. I didn't like the way it started to make me feel. I felt in a fog and "stupid". I was also getting "jerks" when I slept. I switched to Xanax in September of 2013, it did make me feel better cognitively, however I knew I wanted to get off this stuff all together. I started tapering from 1mg of Xanax daily. I cut .25 and did good. I had a headache and some muscle aches, but nothing unmanageable. After a week, I cut another .25. The first couple days were ok, then I was very sick. Dizziness, nausea, I just felt like staying in bed. No energy at all. I realized I must be going to fast, and being that I do have to function at work, I went back to .75. I leveled back out, and after two weeks tried again, but this time, only cut half of a .25 tab. So far, it is day 4 and I am doing ok. Much more manageable. I am taking .25 in the morning and then half .25 tabs three times. So four doses a day. Does this sound ok? And has anyone had experience with this? Or success? I am upset that my doctor never warned me off this. I do have to maintain my job and I am also a Mom so trying to be successful while keeping my sanity. Thank you!
View 6 RepliesAddiction Recovery :: Morphine Detox?
what works to rid your body of morphine
View 2 RepliesAddiction Recovery :: Methadone Withdrawal
I'm going to a clinic in 3 days. I'm sick of the pills.. I'm sick of being in withdrawal a lot when I run out. plus I do have pain issues and the tramadol doesn't help . vicodin doesn't even touch it, any words of wisdom? ( hopefully a few positives? )
View 2 RepliesAddiction Recovery :: Oxycodone Treatment Relapse
I have been using oxycodone 30's for 2 1/2 years. The dose I was using was up to 9 a day I finally reached a breaking point and decided to get clean I started out with suboxone 8/2 3x a day then I stepped down to gabapentin 400mg 3x a day, clonidine 0.1 mg a day and baclofen 20mg 3x a day. I have been on these meds for 2 months and as much as I don't like it I relapsed 3 weeks ago now I went back on my meds but I'm still getting detox symptoms when I'm off of them. I get headaches runny nose over heating aches and pains but not as bad as if I was coming start off Roxie's. now my question is how long does it take for me to go back to normal or even if ,
View 2 RepliesAddiction Recovery :: Alcohol - A.A. And 12 Steps Program
I tend to see alcohol,drugs, bulimia as addiction. I have done all of them. Unfortunately alcohol for me is the least controllable one of all of them. I have been an addict for 40 years now. I started out as bulimic, drink started to cause problems when I was around 30.
I've been to A.A. I've done the 12 step program but I recently had a bad relapse.Only one day. It is helpful.
A.A has helped me I know I am an alcoholic.but I didn't like the idea of people phoning me every other day and I don't like the idea of sponsors - it's true they have had alcohol experiences that I understand too but I don't like telling someone I don't know about my life experiences as In Step 4 . No one there is an expert. Their analysis may be wrong.Even though it is meant in the best way possible.
I have a lot of other issues at the moment the worst being poverty, legal issues and relationship problems. A.A can help with some things and not other but none of these.These things were not caused by alcohol. Partly by addiction.some socioeconomic.
It's a very good organisation and helps many people but only 5% stay clean. It's fine if you are prepared to do all the meetings believe 100% in the program. It's just A.A can't help me with the burning issues just now.
I've done therapy which has helped with a lot of things but a lot of the therapy stuff I learned goes against A.A teachings. Therapy is about creating a life for yourself. A.A is about being dependent on A.A forever. I don't like that. Maybe I haven't hit my "rock bottom" yet and I'm not desperate enough.
Having said this A.A does absolute wonders for some. So it's definitely worth a try.
Addiction Recovery :: Drug Induced Dementia At 27?
My memory, both long term and short term, is shot. I cannot remember names, stories, facts, and many things that were easily retrievable only a few months ago.
Basically, from June until recently, I had major sleep problems. My primary doctor was reluctant to prescribe any kind of sleep medication. Also, I had poor sleep hygiene, and continued to smoke cigarettes and eat an unhealthy diet. Ultimately, I did not sleep for about two months. At most, I would get 2 hours per night.
At the same time, out of desperation, I started to abuse zzzquil. I would take 2x to 2.5x the recommended dose. All things considered, I am a large guy, at about 250 pounds. Still, in the beginning, that dose would afford me 6 hours of sleep. A couple months later - none.
If I was not taking zzzquil I would try melatonin with no results. If not melatonin, I would drink high quantities of alcohol (whiskey, straight up).
I had to quit my job recently, which was an easy one, as I could not focus upon any kind of work. I cannot remember numbers and figures for minutes after I have seen them. Even writing this post is very difficult.
At this point, I pace around my parent's house, chewing ice cubes, driving them crazy, mumbling to myself about how much I suck at life. At one point I was a smart guy - now I feel like a 95 year old.
My parents, my friends, people in AA, my general practitioners, everyone, say that I can make a comeback and that this damage is reversible. I thought that brain damage was irreversible? I cannot afford nor even get a referral to see a neurologist.
Before this summer, I was a chronic alcoholic and marijuana abuser, even for a time while on antidepressants, and have been incredibly irresponsible. My life is a current agony. What should I do? Should I believe that my parents and those around me are correct, should I give up as I am too broke to afford treatment? I am clueless, feeling hopeless, stupid....
Or should I start taking Prozac - as two/four gps stated that this is stemming from depression?
Addiction Recovery :: Alcohol Detox? Vodka
I am a 67 year old male who had previously been drinking a fifth of straight Vodka for years and went 3 times to a clinic to detox.
I quit for many years but due to personal Family problems I started drinking heavily again about 3 months or so ago. (3- 1/2 pints of Vodka a day)
18 days ago I started self in home detox and am SLOWLY but surely beginning to feel better but not at all up to par.
I can't sleep at night and still feel woozy and unsteady on my feet! Somewhat dis oriented as well!
At the beginning of my Detox I had dark colored urine which indicated blood but a R/x of Amoxicillin seemed to take care of that and my urine is now the color its supposed to be.
I, for a few days had black stool but it has since gone away and is back to normal (?) color.
I drink about 5 bottles of water a day and sleep (or try to sleep? with a cold washrag on my head during the day and at night.
My question I guess is this:
I am on day 18 now and still feel as I described as above.
I have read for hours on the NET regarding as to how long these feelings will last and I can't find a definitive answer. Most have said that the feelings will pass after two weeks but could take 3 weeks or longer! Can someone please verify?
Addiction Recovery :: How I Overcame Opiate Withdrawal - Experience
I have taken painkillers off and on for years. I've gone thru withdraws many many times. I finally overcame my addiction by realizing why I started abusing them and research research research...I've tried the Thomas recipe, etc. My biggest issues are anxiety, irritability, and insomnia. Without getting into everything and making whoever is reading this bored, I'll jump right in. This is how I did it, cold turkey. I went to the Dr and told him I had sCiatica. Anyone addicted to opiates I'm sure knows how to Google an ailment, go to the Dr and complain. Tell the Dr you read about the medication gabapentin and want to try it. Tell him that you also have mild anxiety and read that gabapentin. May help with that. If you throw things in like, "I've tried prescription pa in meds And things like Xanax but they just make me loopy so after reading about this medication, I got really excited and would like to try it." Ok, so after you get it, also go to a health food store and get L-tyrosine, Source of Life vitamins and of course, imodium. The best way to do this, the most effect way, is to take about 600-900mg of the gabapentin right before you go to bed on the LAST day that you use opiates. It will help you sleep And feel good the next day. Upon waking, take 1000mg of the L-TYROSINE, your vitamins and your immodium, and another 300 mg of the gabapentin. 2 hrs later take another 300 mg of the gabapentin. It's better absorbed if you drink a glass if orange juice or take an ibuprofen. I should've said that 1st. So take an aleve Or advil With it. That would help with any aches and pains. Halfway thru your day, take another 300mg of the gabapentin and 500mg of the tyrosine. Do this every day for a week. It will get you thru the toughest part. I absolutely swear by this. Of course you're still going to want the drugs and kinda crave then but I promise you, you will feel fine physically and mentally. I read a while back that major depressive disorder sometimes is caused by a gaba deficiency. Major depressive disorder can cause anxiety, aggression, etc. I researched and tried everything. Then I read about these meds And gabapentin Is used for seizures, insomnia, alcohol withdrawal, etc. I have quit cold turkey and thought I was gonna shoot myself in the head because of the physical and emotional hell it caused. Coming off of roxys,oxys, methadone is no easy task. But I swear to you, if you do this, you won't have to suffer. You will feel good. Feel fine. Sleep, eat, take a shower and not feel like it's an overwhelming chore. No sweats. No stomach pain. No anxiety. No aggression. I hope someone reads this, tries it and posts back. Maybe the hell I've been thru will mean something. If I can even just help one person than it was all worth it.
View 3 RepliesAddiction Recovery :: Panic Attack After 120 Clean Days (opiates)
I don't know what happened. I have been doing great the last 2 weeks, and then all of a sudden this morning was bad. I woke up in a panic attack. I really want to know what is going on. I am still seeing a counselor, doctor, and going to na meetings. Being over 120 days clean, would this still be some sort of PAWS. I am still struggling with how all this started while i was using. I don't really feel depressed, but this anxiety does make me feel down. Can you have anxiety this deep into withdrawal. Again, i used normal opiates for over 2 years, and switched to loperamide the last year. The lope was about 20 to 30 a day. A big part of me still thinks that after even 12000 dollars of testing, the doctors have still missed something. Is all this still normal? I mean I felt great the last 2 weeks, and then all of a sudden. Please respond anyone who has experience with this. I really think it's something else. I am scared of something not seen. I know this is a contrast from last post, but what is going on. I am trying to not take any of the xanax they gave me, but today i had to take 2 of the smallest doses.
View 39 RepliesSubstance Abuse :: Ready To Stop Opana
I first started using opiates in 2010 when I was 24. It first started with 1-2 Percocet 10mgs a day or every other day. Then over the next few months it went to 3 a day then 4 a day. After two years of 4 a day and at the very most 6 a day I was introduced to 30mg roxys. I would do no more than 3 of those in a day. I had a great family life with my high school sweetheart and our son. I had a good job, owned a nice house and was very productive. Then I kept using more and more and was getting bad mood swings and spending bill money to pay for my habit. Fast forward to late 2013 and my company was closed I was was jobless. So we were only on my wife's income and even this TH she made good money it was nowhere near what I was making but I was still taking the same amount of drugs. So I was using our bill and mortgage money to buy drugs for myself. I would take cash out of our joint bank account and say I was paying mortgage but would buy pills. I missed 4 months of mortgage and they said they were hook g to foreclose my home. My wife had NO IDEA that we had missed any and when she found out she was devastated. Luckily her father is very wealthy and bailed us out by paying all the past due amount and saved our home. But me and my wife's relationship was ruined. She didn't trust me anymore and it kept going downhill until she left me and kicked me out of the house. I went to live with my mother and kept taking Roxie's and percocets that my mom would give me because I would lie and say I was getting off the roxy and needed something to taper down so was doubling up on both meds. Me and my wife started to try and rekindle our relationship and things were moving in the right direction with us but not my drug use. Then in late 2014 while I had been out of pills for two days I had a giant fight with my mother as I was asking for more pips or money to stop withdrawing and she refused to give anything to me because she was trying to help me. In this fight I broke some furniture and other things but never touched my mother, but she called the police on me. I was arrested but after only 2 days in jail she bailed me out. I went to court and they ordered me into anger management and drug treatment for 6 months and was told that if I didn't do that I would ha e to spend 30 days in jail. After only going twice to therapy I stopped going and since I was still out of work my mother had been paying the 50$ a month fee for therapy. So I told her I was going and would use that 50$ to buy pills. I felt like the biggest waste of space on the planet for all of this and thought of suicide daily. My great life had completely fallen apart and I was losing everyone I loved and cared about. So a few months after my first court date I had another date to go back and show I had been taking the classes and therapy but since I hadn't and knew they'd put me in jail I skipped out on court and had a warrant for my arrest out for me. After a few months of hiding I decided I was tired of running and living like this so I turned myself in with he support of my now separated wife and mom. My wife told me if I went in I'd be forced to get clean and I could move back in and we'd work on fixing us when i got out. So on February 1st 2015 I turned myself in to serve my 30 days. Jail is awful but withdrawing in jail is hell. But while I was there I was with others much worse than me and with sharing stories and supporting each other it made it much easier and kept my mind off of it as much as possible. My sentence ended up being shortened to 17 days but on that time I had great time to think and self reflect as well as detox. I also talked with my wife every night by phone and we had great talks every day and she was very supportive and excited for me. When I got out everything was great. I felt great, was clean, was back in my home and with my family again and had a new start. But after 3 months things with me and my wife went down hill and issues from before with trust and me not working was too much for her and she left me again. So once again I moved with my mom but was still clean. Then after two months there and things not getting better with my job hunt or my relationship I started feeling depressed and lonely again so started hanging with old friends who were users. I didn't use at first and would just go for company but then my wife started a relationship with someone else after us being together for 13 years and it crushed me. In a moment of desperation and weakness I was over a friends and he offered me a roxy 30mg and I took it. And then from there on I was right back to where I was. Eventually I was introduced to a drug I hadn't ever taken, opana. It was much cheaper and more effective than oxycodone so I switched to that just because it was cost effective and more powerful. So now I've been taking a minimum of 15mg a day of opana but usually 30-40 mg a day. It's gotten so bad I've pawned many of my possessions just to get my daily fix. I am back to being suicidal and depressed again as I'm alone and ruining my life and losing my things. I'm tired of it and want to stop so now is the time. I have started to taper off and stopped hanging with friends who use but I know I need professional help to stay off once I stop tapering. So is like some help from you folks with what you've done and if any of you know of good/cheap programs in Tennessee. If I don't stop I'll end up dead either by drugs or from my own hand. I've lost so much but I'm only 30 now and have so much life left if I can turn it around. Any help or encouragement would be a life saver. Thanks in advance.
View 8 RepliesKidney Stones :: Does It Hurt When They Leave Your Body?
So iv had kidney stones twice. Like the first time two years back i awoke unable to pee and in the worst pain ever, after getting to the ER for a CT scan and IV morphine i found out i had kidney stones. I got prescribed morphine and a vasodilator (flomax). So both times i had pain for about 2 days while on both meds, then it suddenly stopped. Then for the following week it comes back on and off before disappears for good. Two questions, does it hurt when they actually leave your body (I was pretty drugged up, could it be i just didn't feel it?) and second is it possible to have two kidney stones at the same time, or smaller fragments that start to be released following a kidney stone? Its been two days after terrible pain, but i feel like the kidney stone i just had made its way pretty low in my pelvic area, now im getting pain again in my lower back as if there's a second stone or fragment. any ideas?
View 1 RepliesEpidermoid Cysts :: Removal Will Leave A Large Dimple?
I have quite a deep cyst on my right butt cheek. It's been there for over 5 years now and I am planning on getting it removed. It has never secreted any pus as it is quite deep under the skin but when I feel around the area I can feel that it's quite wide and deep under the surface! I guess the big question is will it leave a large dent or will it sink in once the cyst is removed? I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but I really don't want a large dimple or dent there!
View 1 RepliesVulval Issues :: Vulvar Biopsy - Leave A Scar?
Has anyone here had a vulva biopsy ?
If so, how was the healing process? and did it leave a scar?
I got one last week, its a hole, Gyn didnt put stitches since stitches make you itchy ( and thats the main reason why i got the biopsy done due to Itching)
Edema - Patterned Socks Leave Marks On My Feet
About a month ago I notice straps from shoes leaving indentations on my feet. Also, now, my patterned socks leave marks on my feet. My feet do not appear swollen when I look at them. I am concerned as I read it could be congestive heart failure? I had a physical two months ago with an EKG. I am so worried. What else could cause this to happen?
View 1 RepliesGetting Off Suboxone
I've been an addict for many years on and off, but over the last 2 yrs I've mostly been doing the suboxone treatment daily. I so want to get off of these once and for all,and if I scroll back into the suggestions on here, I can probably find what I'm looking for,as to advice in getting off them.I can sure use some helpful advise or remedies from some of you that have been on suboxone and gotten off of them.
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